Oh excuse me, just preparing to serenade you with my bullsh*t. Ha! Just kidding, or am I?
So as my first official post in this new blog of mine, I figure that it’s only fitting that I let you in on who the hell I am. A little “peek behind the curtain,” if you will. Prepare yourself, this may get lengthy.
Welp, that’s me. Having a grand ol’ time while simultaneously eroding away the remaining bit of cartilage in my knees. 10 years in the military is not easy on your body whatsoever & we won’t even travel down the road of a twin pregnancy (for now). I’ve been alive an kickin’ since ‘93, August to be exact and boyyyy am I a fire sign. My leo characteristics shine through mostly in the form of how honest & fiercely loyal I am. Best believe if I feel some type of way about something, you’ll know – my mouth or my face will say it. It’s a toss up between which one will come first.
“She is a wild, tangled forest. With temples and treasures concealed within.”
– John Mark Green
My life is nothing short of extraordinary. I mean, I made two whole people. That’s pretty badass, not to mention they’re gorgeous. Twins caught us by surprise and we get so many questions about it so I’ll answer the top three, just to make this a bit easier to digest.
“Do twins run in your family?”
– We didn’t think so ????????♀️ as soon as we broke the news to our family is when they wanted to hit us with the “oh yeahhh! ‘So and so’ down the line had twins! Doesn’t it skip a couple generations?” UM.. that would’ve been nice to know BEFORE we thought about kids. At least I would’ve been a little more prepared for that news!
“Was it natural?”
– Uhh.. does a bear shit in the woods? Such a weird question to ask someone but if you’re referring to IVF or any other fertility treatments/processes, no. Just a really good Spotify playlist and pent up aggression after a deployment. IYKYK…
“Are they identical?”
– Yes. I created a permanent stunt double. And before you even ask, yes I can tell them apart.
That fella there, holding one of our babies is my rock. Or what I like to call, the moon to my stars. He has watched over me since we were friends in 2017. That year changed my life in more ways than one. I lost my mother. She unfortunately passed due to metastatic breast cancer in October of that year. We were inseparable, my mother and I. There wasn’t a single day that went by that we wouldn’t talk. I leaned on her for everything and she truly was my very best friend. Her loss came with loads of grief, shame, fear, insecurities.. I mean you name it – I felt it. All the way up until her one year memorial, I did everything I could to bury those feelings. Why? Because I was afraid to face who they turned me into. I was angry, bitter and down right resentful that entire year and even some time afterward. When I finally got into therapy and faced my reality, something beautiful happened. I learned to look in the mirror with grace and compassion versus hate and regret. Having my (now) husband, Cavan, there through it all was everything I could’ve ever needed and more. He is the most genuine, kind hearted soul I’ve ever met and I’m truly blessed to share this life with him.
After learning to connect with my past and face my new reality since losing my mom, I’ve worked everyday since to become the best version of myself. Not just for me but for others as well. It’s so important to be a light in peoples lives, you never know the effect you have on people by the energy you carry with you.
“Let’s respond with grace. Even when others don’t.”
– Arlene Pellicane
I’m naturally a very caring person (despite my RBF) and tend to be a people pleaser because I enjoy seeing people happy. However, I’ve learned to set healthy boundaries for myself so that I don’t overextend my heart and get mentally/emotionally abused. Somehow society has become this place full of judgement, negative opinions, harsh slander and disrespect towards anyone who is different than them in whatever way. My hope and goal is that I can create a space that is safe. Where you feel protected and respected when you are with me, virtually or in person.
Well, my fingers are getting tired and I think this is enough of a peek behind the curtain of who Alyssa is, for now at least. Next up, how and why I got into photography! ???? that story may or may not have you a little misty eyed.
As always, thank you for joining me here and following my journey!
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